Ok so I've been away for a little while. I've been really thinking seriously about where I am in my life and how happy I am. Did I rush into getting married? Why do I put up with stuff from him that I've never put up with before? I'm the type of girl that needs the little things to know he cares. Time and time again we've discussed this but all I get is "you know I'm not like that." Or if I'm crying he chooses not to deal with it and just ignore the situation. We have trust issues...he's still in communication with his ex and does it behind my back and considered meeting up with her while home on leave while I was at work. This isn't the only time we've had an issue with other women. We even broke up for a little while right before we got engaged. I should have known then. Another key indicator was our wedding night...we got into a huge fight and slept on opposite sides of the king size hotel bed.
I know I can't make any decisions right now especially because he haven't lived together more than 30 days. But in those 30 days I've been ready for him to leave...
Give me the strength to make the right decisions to make myself happy above all else...
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Oh man, I can empathize with you completely. Unfortunately military culture encourages some (or a lot)of this behavior. I can only name a few wives who have not dealt with infidelity in thier marriages. Only you can make the decision that is right for you. Just ask yourself is this how you want your marriage to be? Easier to deal with it now than later, when there are children, houses, investments involved. But also you must remember that deployment is such a hard time as it is. Everyone goes through serious ups and downs. I hope you can find the courage to do what makes you happy and stay true to yourself. You deserve happiness and love...
ReplyDeleteHugs to you! Deployments are difficult especially for newlyweds and especially with limited communication (do they allow once a week? - I think every service is different). I would encourage both of you to talk to your local chaplains (assuming you are near a base) and let them walk through this with you. It is confidential and neither of you should worry that it would in any way effect his military career b/c it absolutely will not. If he won't go, you still should.
ReplyDeleteAlso, get the book "Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti." This talks about the differences in how we deal with things differently.
As for infidelity, only you can decide what is best for your situation. Hard stuff. Hard decisions.
We will be praying for you! Take care!