Sunday, September 26, 2010
I decided it was time to change the name of my blog. I'm no longer an Army wife so it just didn't seem right keeping the blog name. My divorce was finalized on the 10th of this month so I'm officially starting over in one area of my life. I'm excited and scared. I never thought I'd be 25 years old and divorced but I knew my marriage would end this way. I knew we weren't right together...I was settling. I've been doing a lot of thinking and having "me" time. I've come to the conclusion I settle with relationships because I feel guilty if I'm too happy. It's as though if I'm too happy it's like I'm forgetting about my brother. Six and a half years after he was killed, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I know I shouldn't think that way because he would want to see me happy. I wish I could talk to him and get some helpful big brother advice. But for the first time in my life I'm doing things for me and just taking the time to make myself happy instead of putting everyone else's feelings in front of mine. I've got to be happy by myself before I can be happy with anyone else.